I got a message that could be summarized to the question: “How do you meet a guy when I am a woman in my 30’s and is it even possible?”
From my childhood, I remember Donald Duck rubbers, torn knees and the smell of air from my grandparents that I could not smell anywhere else. I also remember my reactions to the information that a cousin was thirty years old. He seemed so grown up that surely everyone should call him “Good morning” and “Sir.” At this age, I thought, everything was arranged as if you were a German with DilMil.co obsessive-compulsive disorder. In general, I associated this age with the limit, followed by life stabilization first, then knee and hip stabilization and bidding on who is sicker.
Today I look at a picture of Taylor Swift with red lipstick on her lips, think she will be thirty in two years, and say, “Wow! So young! ”. Or Emma Stone – one of my favorite actresses who will blow out 30 candles on her cake on November 6, and she has everything to do – weddings, children, and Oscars, because this one for “La La Land” is certainly not the end . On the other hand, Monica Bellucci, the symbol of the tragic beauty of Malena, gave birth to her first child only at the age of 39, and no one is surprised.
The truth is that the biological clock is ticking like this, but the “golden age” has definitely shifted. Is it possible to meet someone cool when you are in your thirties? Yes, of course. Under several conditions.
# 1 You’re not gonna be like Monica Bellucci by dating five guys a year
I have had this dialogue so many times that if I got a slice of pizza for each one, I could become a professional sumo player.
– I think I’m a nice girl, but for some reason I’m alone.
– How many guys did you meet this week?
– Nothing, but it’s only because I work a lot …
– And a month?
– Stop! Is it really that important?
In fact, nothing is more important, whether you are 20, 30 or 40 years old. If you want to get to know the other person (whether a man or a woman), you need a choice. Some time ago I was talking to a friend about our mutual friend who has been in a relationship for several months. This friend is one of the coolest people I know, and the list of his virtues starts at 187 cm, goes through a great job, nice looks and lots of passion. He searched for girls by dating women from Tinder. How many of them do you think a nice guy had to go out with DilMil to find a girl who suits him in terms of attractiveness, with whom he has something to talk about, and by the way, she is as interested in him as he is in her?
With five? Ten? Maybe fifteen? – How Do You Meet A Guy
Whoever can be found quickly, but in the case of higher standards, the correct number is … Seventy! So if you date five guys a year, don’t be surprised if How Do You Meet A Guy you start a relationship in … 14 years.
It seems like a lot, but it’s no wonder. Rather, it is us who, following the stories from the cinema screen, underestimate the number of attempts that must be made to achieve the desired effect. As if that was not enough, when this effect is absent, instead of saying: “Ok, this is life, I have 47 more tries left” women start to blame themselves and cry into boxes of caramel ice cream.
I know that going on a few dozen dates sounds difficult, especially when you are no longer studying and your social life needs to be stimulated all the time. Let’s just agree – no one promised it would be easy. Life is either good and interesting, but difficult or easy and sloppy. You choose.
# 2 It’s worth finding a balance between haste and indecision
Getting to know each other is like seeds. On the one hand, you have to give them time to grow, and on the other hand, throw them away when it turns out that How Do You Meet A Guy instead of a beautiful flower, a good weed has grown.
The problem is that some women in their thirties panic, causing them to:
1) They require the seed to grow right away – How Do You Meet A Guy
How? For example, they post descriptions like: “If you’re not interested in a permanent relationship, don’t write to me!” or they say on the first date, “I’m looking for something serious.”
Do not get me wrong. It’s great that you know you don’t care about one-time drunk sex in a dingy apartment. I also understand that this way you How Do You Meet A Guy want to weed out guys who are only interested in sex. The problem is, you seem too offensive this way, which puts you off normal men. Getting to know each other requires … getting to know each other, and not determining your interest at the very beginning.
2) They see weeds in the pot, but they still say: “Well, maybe at least it will bloom nicely”
This is the other extreme of the “I don’t want to waste any more time” approach. Such women are in relationships that clearly don’t work , but they tell themselves they’ve spent so much time on them and it’s a shame to end it. Especially since maybe it was the last train, so if you get off it, you will be sitting at the train station with the bastards.
If you think so, I can assure you that the day will eventually come when you think. “If I hadn’t thought so stupidly five years ago, today I would be in a completely different place.” The truth is that when we decide to change. We are always worse off than we were yesterday. But we are also always in a better position than we will be tomorrow. In a year or ten years from now. No matter how much time we have wasted. We wake up every day with our entire future in front of us.
Application? If you want to meet a guy, don’t be afraid to give others a chance. On the other hand, when it comes to your mind that you got a stinging. Weed instead of a flower, get rid of it as soon as possible .
# 3 You will have a hard time being with someone if you find only flaws at your age
There is a funny phrase explaining a woman’s jealousy: “You’re getting old and a twenty-year-old girl is still twenty.” Well, twenty-year-olds will always exist. They will have younger bodies, firmer breasts, and firmer buttocks.
The good news is that you may lose collagen as you age. But with a little self-reflection, you learn sweet lessons from bitter experiences and gain traits. That are terribly important. I mentioned ten of them three years ago. And the whole text was read by so many people. That after 24 hours I was canceled hosting.
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Sexologists know that men not only have a firm body, but also a firm brain. It is a common belief that men cheat on partners with women who are more physically attractive than they are. This happens, of course, but much more often they betray them with women who are warm, aware of their needs, intellectually developed, and sexually open.
So it’s not like weddings are taken with twenty-year-olds. Weddings are made to women to whom you want to spend time, not just spend it. Or with those with whom you can read Houellebecq together and watch warm Italian movies. With those with whom life is as much fun as a ride on a Ferris wheel and eating cotton candy. Or the ones that act like a million bucks worth even more. And whether they are 20, 40 or 60 is not so important anymore. Because age is important if you want to buy a pack of breweries in junior high school. There is much more to love.
