Whether you’ve been together Conversation Starters for Couples for three months or three years, all couples can benefit from enriching conversation. From the seemingly trivial (favorite movies, dream vacation spots) to the most important (greatest ambitions, biggest fears), any talk that leads to finding out more about what your partner wants out of life is a worthwhile one. The more you chat, the more at ease you’ll feel with one another—which is crucial when it comes to opening up about sensitive subjects.
“Communication skills are just like any other skill,” says relationship therapist Esther Boykin. “The more you practice, the better you are at it—particularly when it comes to conversations Lovinga.com where you feel vulnerable.
While plenty of research has been devoted to healthy communication strategies for couples, the content of your conversations is just as important. “When couples can focus on not just how to communicate, but what they communicate to each other, it can make those tougher conversations down the road, as you’re thinking about getting married, a lot easier,” adds Boykin.
While it sounds like a lot of hard work, it doesn’t have to be! Read on for Boykin’s tips for making meaningful conversations feel less high-stakes, as well as a list of deep conversation starters for couples that are sure to encourage bonding at a level you’ve never experienced before.
How to Make Deep Conversation Less Intimidating
First things first: try to make it fun! From flashcard games to viral online guides, there are plenty of prompts available to inspire a deep conversation.
“When you start with questions generated by someone else, it makes [the experience] feel like a game—and it reduces the likelihood that we begin to attach meaning to why our partner is asking a question,” says Boykin.
It’s also more than fine to use pop culture as your jumping-off point. “Books, movies, and shows you’ve watched together are an easy, low-conflict way to have conversations about values,” Boykin adds. “Instead of [issues] becoming hyper-personal, you’re talking about a fictional character and the choices you see them making.” Discussing whether or not you agree with their decisions can be an indirect but just as truthful way of revealing what governs your own heart.
Deep Conversation Starters for Couples
Ready to start a deep Lovinga conversation with your partner? Read on for a list of our favorite fun and thought-provoking questions for couples to ask each other, helpfully sorted by category.
Family & Childhood
- Who is the person in your family you’re the most honest with?
- What is your most unique family tradition? What is your favorite family tradition?
- How does your family express love and affection?
- Do you wish to be a parent? If so, why?
- What class or teacher most impacted your life growing up?
- In what ways are you most different from the person you were in high school?
- If you could change one thing about the way you were raised, what would it be and why?
- Book had the most impact on you in childhood?
- What did you use to enjoy doing as a kid that is no longer part of your life?
- What food or drink most evokes a feeling of home for you?
- Rules or practices did your household follow growing up that you would also implement in your own household? What rules or practices would you choose not to follow?
- Should children help with household chores?
Intimacy – Conversation Starters for Couples
- What is your predominant love language?
- Tell me about your first heartbreak.
- Do you believe in twin flames?
- When was the first time you said “I love you” to someone who isn’t a member of your family?
- What does it mean to be good in bed?
- What’s a very ordinary action that you find really attractive?
- What is your favorite memory of us?
- What is something you want to ask me but are afraid to ask me?
- Name three things we have in common.
- Describe the physical touch that best communicates “I love you.”
The Past, Present & Future – Conversation Starters for Couples
- What have been the highest and lowest points of your life?
- If you could apologize to one person from your past, who would it be and why?
- If you were given one year to live, what would change about how you spend your time?
- Describe your perfect day.
- Tell me about someone you no longer speak to that you wish you were still friends with.
- Tell me about the most recent kind thing you did for a stranger.
- What’s something you’re really good at?
- What’s your favorite thing to do by yourself?
- What is the greatest accomplishment of your life thus far?
- What do you consider to be the biggest mistake you’ve ever made?
- Tell me about a time you felt completely out of your comfort zone.
- What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken? Would you do it again?
- If you could ask a psychic one question about your future, what would you want to know?
- What stresses you out the most when traveling?
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Health & Mental Health – Conversation Starters for Couples
- Do you like to exercise? What’s your favorite form of exercise, if so?
- What’s something that cheers you up when you’re sad?
- Do you plan to take care of your parents in their old age?
- How do you feel about drug use?
- When do you feel the strongest?
- Are your favorite forms of self-care?
- Wha have been the most serious injuries or health scares in your life?
- What would you do if you were informed that you have a terminal illness? What would you do if you were informed that I have a terminal illness?